Rival gang leader Johny Sack(in a sit down after learning Tony's Soprano's cousin took out one of his guys): "I want your cousin on a ******* spit" Tony: "I don't know where he is Johny" Johny: "fine then maybe one of your other relatives" Christopher: (who is Tony's nephew is at the sit down and whom Johny is alluding to) "What, I gotta stand here being threatened!" (Tony: "alright nobody's making threats" Johny: "Either you deliver that little prick to my door or I will rain sh..storm down on you and your family like you have never ******* seen! (sigh) We're done here." a week or so later Johny and Tony alone Tony: "I think I might know where my cousin is Johny, but I want you to let me handle this myself" Johny: "I can't do that Tony" Tony: "You're the boss John you can do whatever the **** you want" Johny: "Then I choose not to" Tony: "Alright then, I want you to promise me as friend that it will be dealt with quicky" Johny: "I don't have to lie to you Tony I don't need to: Phil (whose brother he killed) is gonna do it and he'll do it his way" Tony: "John I'm asking you as a friend, come on eh" Johnny is impassive Tony: "You know what Johny: **** yourelf you and Phil and whoever, he's my ******* cousin" Tony later to his crew: "My cousin Tony went into business for himself for which there is no excuse, he hurt me, he hurt all of us, regardless it has been made abundantly clear that if they get their hands on him, it wont be dealt quickly, we're talking torture, and for that reason I offer him the same protection that I would offer any of any of you in similar circumstanes" **************************************... Christopher Maltisnate and Paulie Walnuts go to a Russian mobsters apt to collect a debt; oustide before knocking: Christopher:" ..Russians aren't that bad" Paulie: "What about the Cuban missle crisis, *********** brought missles to Cuba, pointed them right at us." Christopher: "You mean that was real, I saw the movie, I thought it was bullshit." Knock Russian: "Who is it?" Paulie: "FBI open up" entering apt Christopher: "Hope we didn't wake you" Paulie: "or the other 30 people that live here hahaha" Chris: "So Vladmir you got Sil's money" Russian: "money is on entertanmt center" Paulie(looking at ent centr and grabbing something: "Look at this sh.. TV STEREO DVD --"What the f...'s this?" Chris: "universal remote" Paulie: "universal remote, I bet you wiped your asses barehanded before you came to this country" Russian: "Universal remote, put it down on docking station!" Paulie: "listen to this prick giving orders -- you got some balls my friend"(and upon saying this Paulie purposely drops and breaks univ remote)"woops" Chris: "Hey Paulie" Paulie: "What it was an accident" Russian gets up: "Ah you want to f... here you come to my house C...SUCKER!" Paulie: "What did you call me" (breaks beer mug on Russian's head and in the subsequent melle Russian is finally overwhelmed and stuffed in the trunk of Paulie's car. They call up Tony Soprano to find out what t do) Tony: "You decide Paulie, but whatever you do you, do it the f... away from me" (Tony is a business associate of the Russian's boss)"this guy used to work for the interior ministry, he took out 16 Chechen rebels singlehanded, some kind of Russian green beret, this guy cannot come back to tell this story! Godamit"(cellphone reception is very bad) At the other end Paulie had some trouble understanding everything Tony said: "You're not going to believe this, he killed 16 Chekoslavakian's, guy was an interior decorator" Chris: "His house looked like sh.." **************************************... Tony tells big Pussy Bompansero: "Why are you making me do this you fat ******* miserable piece of sh.."(before he and Pauli Galtiere and Silvio Dante who have all known each other since childhood kill him for being an FBI informant) **************************************... Tony and his crew laughing about Johny Sack's wife who is obese: Ralph Sifareto: "did you hear they surgically remover a 90lb mole from Giny Sacks ***" Pauli: "when she goes camping the bears have to hide their food" Gigi: "she's planning on moving to Jersey, Jersey's a small state, she could tip it over" "She's the only one that two guys can **** without ever touching" Johny (whose wife they are reffering to)walks in unexpectedly: "**** who?" " Tony: "We we're just talking about one of the girls" Johny: "Is that all you ***** ever do around here, talk about cooz?" **************************************... Tony to Rithicie Aprile (who has just got out of jail after a 10 year stint and has his own ideas): " Back off and respect the title you c...sucker" Ritchie: "It's your ball you make the rules" Tony: "No I don't make them, rules have always been there" **************************************... Christopher Maltisante: "Maybe the reason things are so ****** up in the organization is guys going around without listening to middle managment" **************************************... Ralph Sifareto to Johny Sacks: "He (Tony his boss) is leaving me little choice" Johny: "Where you get the balls to come to my house and talk like this, you wanna commit suicide pills are alot easier" **************************************... Tony to Johny (who he is trying to get (Tony)to kill his own boss Carmine Lubretazzi, Tony initially agreed but is now having second thoughts): "I don't know taking out the boss is bad for business, besides he's an old man, you'll get your chance soon enough" Johny: "Oh this is really dissapointing Tony... tommorow I go back to work and take orders from him, or his c...sucking idiot son" Tony: "I should'nt be hearing this" Johny: "Oh really, but you heard, your lips were moving along with mine" Tony: "John I still consider you a dear dear friend" Johny: "What kind of a friend would leave me holding my dick in my hands" **************************************... Philly Leotardo toTony: "You've got some balls kid, I'll give you that much" Tony: "You'll give me what I tell you to give me, this aint the seventies and I'm not a kid" Philly: "Relax its just an expression" Tony: "Oh yeau, well heres another one, you've got 5 days to give me my money" **************************************... Sylvio Dante from a toilet stall: "Whats with the ******* accounting out there" (Pauli Walnuts and Vito Spatafore are arguing over how and how much money they should give to Carmella Tony's wife from a recent score while Tony the boss has been shot and is in critical condition) later Sylvio calls Paulie: "She still hasen't recieved those *******donuts and she's expecting them" Pauli: "I'm on it" Syl: "Its just that I know who Im dealing with" Pauli: "I resent that" Syl: "You got a problem taking orders from me"(Syl is Tony's second in command) Pauli: "keep your shirt on" **************************************... Ralph Sifareto to Pauli: "50% *for a ****** alarm code, maybe 5% as a finders fee" **************************************... Fitch Lamotta to Tony: "do I have to ask you permission to move my bowels, since when did it become that a a man has to ask permission to ply his trade" **************************************... Pauli to Fitch: "How the **** do you know what belongs to who, you've been in the can for 20 years" Fitch: "which entitles me to earn" Pauli: "Which entitles you to sh.. in my book you get points for staying out of the can" Fithch: "then its agood thing that your book dont mean oogats to me, now why dont you do yourself a ******* favor Pauli and get the **** out of my ******* store!"